And we’re so different. we’re hot and cold, fire and water. I’m loud, you’re quiet. I talk, you listen. I’m crazy, you’re sane. But that’s why this works… you fill in my missing pieces and I complete you… and I guess that’s why, despite the questions and the challenges, I still believe in us and I still believe in this… and as long as we have each other, I think we’ll be alright.
i can only type and type so many times
and and life did take a few unexpected turns
but i won’t stop ;
i will never let myself down
i can only stay strong
everything happens for a reason.
…And I hope, that one day I could feel like this too,
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
if only i could convey my feelings into words.
<3,
savira ravianne
it really hasn’t been a good start of the year.
but i’ll have to keep my head up.
Should I drink another drink
See another light
I know that you may think
That I’m a broken little bird in my mind
Cause I’m falling on the floor
I’m climbing up the walls
And everytime I get a grip
I seem to lose myself just a little more.
- Medina, Welcome to Medina
well here i am- at school not doing work. i feel like i haven’t applied myself yet. i’m still looking for myself, i just… ugh.
but so far the weather has been nice :)
i like it when i sleep next to you and you cuddle me from behind. inside, there is a nice warm feeling that i can only get from you. inside, i feel comfort, i feel safe, i feel wanted. i like it when you play with my hair and massage my head like you do, when you pet your kitty. i like it when i’m next to you- feeling your heartbeat against mine.as you are sound asleep, i secretly massage you where i like it and secretly kiss you on the forehead and sometimes you smile. and when you smile it makes me smile. i like it when you call me baby savira, because it makes me feel special. i like it when you take me out on dates. i like to dress up and compliment each other. it’s funnier when we compliment each other without knowing. i like it when we stay home watching our favorite shows or gazing at pictures when you were in italy.
whenever i look into your eyes, you give me these butterflies.you always ask me, baby what are you thinking? you also tell me i have a cute nose and that i’m beautiful. i always tell you that you have beautiful eyes and tell you you’re so handsome, did you get it from your mama? but also in your eyes, i feel the pain that’s slowly healing. i wish that it could only heal faster but i ultimately on the inside am fragile. i know i may have a strong exterior, but you are the only one that can have the capability to penetrate my interior (yes pun intended) and that is one of the many gifts i can give you.
baby i don’t like it when you hurt me, i don’t ever want to feel that way. i don’t ever want to feel pushed away or unwanted.
and baby it’s not that easy to heal but sometimes the cuts are small but yet so deep.
but everytime you say sorry,
i always forgive you.
i’m crazy for you, i care about you, i cry sometimes before i sleep.
i have definitely learned alot from you and thank you for showing me a beautiful (almost 9 months) or (7 months) .
because i hope to one day fall in love in with you.
and here’s another entry.
i type here because i feel like i can vent and channel my emotions out. tumblr helps me calm me down - when no one wants to listen… when there’s no one to talk to.. when i can’t convey my thoughts in verbal words properly. tumblr is here. and it will always be here.
this happened yesterday and you know what i’m talking about.
how you decided to become an asshole. you specifically told me you had the intention, you were in the mood for it. you wanted to stir things up. you believe we’re not a real couple because we don’t have those petty little dramatic fights. you want to become close by having these fights. other then that sex seems like another option to you.
we both subconsciously agree that we’re not close to each other. and order for me to feel close to you, i need that effort. i need you to show me gestures that you actually care. you say all the time that i’m a great girlfriend and that i’m beautiful. but your actions don’t reflect it.
and to defend you you don’t feel close either. you believe that you’re the same just like my other guy friends. you don’t feel recognized as a boyfriend until we are physically intimate. and since i’m not giving it up to you, your only other option is to have these stupid fights to be closer.
actually, i don’t feel closer if we do have stupid fights. in fact i feel like you’re pushing me away. this isn’t the first time you’ve hurt me and clearly it’s not the last.
you feel amused to be an asshole and it’s funny how i react. you told me you don’t feel bad that you decided not to talk to me because i did not bring you chipotle.
i didn’t talk to you throughout the whole day and all i wanted was to have a nice conversation before you slept - you said your day was good, you just finished watching one of your favorite shows and you decided to slam the door in my face by telling me good night and that’s it…
and let’s say that i did bring you chipotle, i’m convinced you would act like an asshole randomly because you could be in the mood. which poses the question in my head ? what if he’s in the mood to abuse me [physically?] you obviously don’t care how i react, as long as your in the mood you find it amusing. this sounds lame but it sounds to me that you’re bullying me in this relationship.
the one person that could make me feel better with just a hug turns out to the person that has the capability to hurt me the most.
in the earlier entries, i was angry, frustrated, and upset and i had the right to be.
don’t waste my time and i won’t waste yours.
i see the progress. i see the effort. i see you want to change for better.
i believe in you. i have faith in you. i trust you. i will work with you. relationships are not easy but i’m willing to take the risk with you.
because i want [to love] you [hopefully one day].
you hold a part of me that i’ve kept for so long - so fragile , so easily ricocheted.
please take care of my heart. because sometimes i feel like you just leave it on the floor, sitting there beating all alone. you may not realize it, but it does hurt.
i accept for who you are - no matter how hard it may be and sometimes things are unfair for me. but i try not to let that phase me. i always forgive you everytime you ask.
but alas, i may be flawed as well. i try to be the best girlfriend i could be with you. sometimes i feel like i’m never good enough for you but i always try to please you in every way. if there’s anything you want to criticize me about, please don’t be afraid to tell me…
don’t worry, we’ll work together.
it’s been 8 months baby - thank you for showing me your appreciation, taking me out on dates, listening to me. thank you for working with my crankyness, my sensitivityness, my weirdness, my sadness, my loudness. thank you for being such a great boyfriend<3
please don’t let me down.
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