i need to find myself.
i need to find myself.
you held my hand
for the first time
i want it
i want to feel
the wholeness in my hands again
i want the rush of
and your soft lips
on the back of my neck again
and your hands
holding my delicate waistline
I can’t help but to whisper
in my melancholy state
and asking why
I see that it is the darkest
and I think
I have found
but am too afraid
to let go
of the night.
when you hold on to me
i feel this tingling sensation
that spirals up and down
how electrifying it feels
to be touched and
to be loved
by your hands
to be kissed
on the very hollow
of my neck
to have you
up against me
back and forth again
i’m excited to be starting a wordpress (as for now, hopefully I’ll have my own name as a domain in a future website later, but for now..)
I really want to blog about my adventures -
I’m heading to Europe this summer and I am very blessed and excited
:) tumblr is for when i need to rant, while wordpress is more professional side of me lol.
i showed love to you, you ripped out my heart out.
and you stepped on it, i picked up the pieces before you swept on it.
Goddamn this shit leaves a mess, doesn’t it?
but first I shall digress on it.
wasn’t I a good queen?
…well maybe too much of good thing.
didn’t I spoil you?
me or her, what are you loyal to?
i gave you my loyalty, made you royalty
gave you royalties
took care of you
and this is how you rewarding me,
did everything betray you? even the rain you love so much made rust out of your jewelry? i forgive you, soft spoken girl speaking with fake brash voice, fooling no one.
but, i forgive you, girl, who tallied stretch marks into reasons why no one should get close.
i forgive you, silly girl, sweet breath, decent by default. i forgive you for being afraid.
i see you, tender even on your hardest days. i forgive you, for him lying to you. for him omitting things. you still love and care for him so much.
your body, your mouth, your heart, made specifically for loving.
i forgive you, for the cruel friends.
especially for that one time you said ‘i fucking give up, it’s not worth it’. you were just pretending, weren’t you? i know you didn’t mean that.
perishable goods, fading out slowly, little human, i wouldn’t want to be in a world where you don’t exist.