♥express individuality♫♪

a [love] letter to myself.

did everything betray you? even the rain you love so much made rust out of your jewelry? i forgive you, soft spoken girl speaking with fake brash voice, fooling no one.

but, i forgive you, girl, who tallied stretch marks into reasons why no one should get close.
i forgive you, silly girl, sweet breath, decent by default. i forgive you for being afraid.

i see you, tender even on your hardest days. i forgive you, for him lying to you. for him omitting things. you still love and care for him so much.
your body, your mouth, your heart, made specifically for loving.

i forgive you, for the cruel friends.
especially for that one time you said ‘i fucking give up, it’s not worth it’. you were just pretending, weren’t you? i know you didn’t mean that.

perishable goods, fading out slowly, little human, i wouldn’t want to be in a world where you don’t exist.

being mentally prepared for rejection.

I really was mentally prepared for the “no.” Thought it would be nice to give it a try though. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to persevere. Or maybe it does cost something at the end.
Well whatever the case may be. At least I tried, I can’t say I didn’t.
Just got to keep moving on and get over it.
I guess fantasies will always be dreams.
but they didn’t tell me nightmares are dreams too.

being mentally prepared.

And that’s all you fucking care about.

.

things that drive me crazy.

I have to admit, here’s a list of things I just don’t like:

1. salad
2. oatmeal raisin
3. cinnamon raisin bagel
4. snoring
5. hearing the analog clock tick
6. salmon cream cheese
7. thick, soft fries
8. Billy Andre
9. Koreander Restaurant
10. durian
11. American cheese
12. ingrown hairs
13. 7/11 nacho cheese
14. Professors with thick accents
15. Soft taco shells (unless its a quesadilla)

and more to come…

don’t ever stop chasing.

before one claims another person as their significant other, they would do anything to make that person happy. they would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming. they would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. they would write corny messages and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile upon your face. but once they claim you as theirs, all of those things eventually stop. the 5 page texts slowly turn into 1. the constant calls turn into not calling at all. and the lovely endearments turn into daily arguments. don’t ever stop chasing. just because the person you want is now consider “yours”, it does not mean they deserve anything less than the time when you’re trying to win them over. <3

i love it when…

i love it when i’m next to you, cuddling on to me so i can hear your heartbeat next to mine.  inside, i feel comfort, i feel safe, and i feel wanted. it’s a special feeling of warmth that no other guy can give me but only you. i love it when you stroke your fingers through my wavy hair, my back tingles as your smooth fingers race up and down ending up to my soft neck and my small ears. your determined hands massages my delicate back after long day of school and work. i love it when we are together and i fall fast asleep in your arms and i would wake up, only to wake up when you are sleeping just so i can secretly massage you where you like it and gently kiss you on the forehead… and sometimes you surprise me because you would smile. i love it when you call me kinz and sweet tea because it makes me feel unique, there’s a deeper meaning behind to all the nicknames you give me. i ESPECIALLY love it when you take me out on dates and new places. i love to dress up and magically find out we compliment each other’s outfits without even knowing - it’s so much more meaningful and funnier when we do that. i also love it when we stay home watching our favorite shows or gazing at pictures when you were in italy. 

whenever i look into your eyes, you give me these butterflies.you always ask me, baby what are you thinking? you also tell me i have a cute nose and that i’m so cute.

and when you text me and call me good night- i know that you are safe and sound,

and when you text me good morning,

i feel so special to have someone who thinks about me

<3